Is It Motivation Or Bribe?!????

Ever since my son has been in school, and he is now 14 years of age in the 9th grade, we have basically operated under the Expectancy Theory. He was rewarded based upon certain criteria of his grades:


• whether or not the grade was achieved on a test, a report card, or a progress report

• were the grades consistent across all classes or a few

• was he balancing a sport or extracurricular activity

• did he reach out for help when he needed it

Over time or as he has gotten older, the reward or benefits of his good grades have increased as well either monetarily or via something more tangible like tickets to a Falcons game or a new game for his PlayStation. Of course, he learned quickly that the more A’s he made, the happier his parents were and better the reward.

Interestingly enough, now that he has entered high school, he is in more advanced classes and feels like it is something he “has” to do. I am “making” him do it. All of his other friends aren’t in the advanced classes. Why does he have to be in the advanced classes? It’s consuming his free time to hang out with them. Self-Determination Theory definitely!

What motivated me 20 years ago definitely is not the same as what motivates me today. People change. Environments change. Just like I need to adapt and figure out what motivates my son at home, organizations need to do the same for their employees.

Is It Their Personality Or My Perception ?!?!

If you are placed in a group with a couple of INTJs (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) who think they are ENTPs (Extraverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving), and you personally are an ESTJ (Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) AKA organizer, does that equate to a dysfunctional group? Let’s look at it another way, imagine being in a room where no one agrees; everyone has their own ideas and theories and absolutely fails to be able to convince the others to agree with their views or anything else for that matter. Some would say “Oh, she is a female and therefore, highly emotional. “ Others might say “He’s from India, and he has trouble articulating his ideas. “ On the other hand, my view may be “He’s just plain overbearing and stubborn. It’s his way or no way.” Well is that perception or personality?


I think that it is both. From a personality perspective, I am very organized, sociable, and confident. I am not aggressive, argumentative, and inflexible. I tend to have a hard time communicating with people that are exactly those – aggressive and argumentative, and when that happens I tend to project inwardly my anger and eventually explode if it continues. People tend to perceive that as a weakness or that I do not care, but it is the exact opposite. I don’t believe that meetings or conversations have to be reduced to arguments which at the end of the day are quite unproductive. I have learned to ask questions first to try to understand their point of view, promoting “group think”, and assigning proper roles before making decisions which makes it easier to deal with the personalities. However, impacting other’s perceptions is far more difficult and something that I struggle with daily even though we may have common goals.  Hence, the irony in the title.